If you were reincarnated and wanted to have great sex, would you come back as a man or a woman?
The answer to that depends very much on who is answering the question.
The assumption is that men have a better time of it and it’s harder for women to orgasm.
But is that really the case? Here’s what science has to say about male vs female sexuality.
THE MALE SEX DRIVE IS STRONGER
Men think about sex more often. Most men under 60 think about sex at least once a day; only about one quarter of women say the same.
Men report more spontaneous arousal and more varied fantasies than women do and a US study (Florida State University) found men want more sex than women do at all stages of the relationship.
It’s thought there’s a biological reason for the male sex drive being more powerful: men are hardwired to pass on their genetic material.
Women may be programmed to look for an emotional connection as well as sexual because they need a mate who’ll stick around to help take care of any babies.
Tracey says that while men have a stronger sex drive women have more orgasms
But this doesn’t mean men are hardwired to cheat – or justified to do so.
We’re humans not animals, so capable of processing information, making a moral judgment and delaying gratification.
Perhaps to make up for lower drive, women can have multiple orgasms so, arguably, have a better time once having sex.
Once we’ve had one orgasm, we’re ready to go again.
Bar a little sensitivity of the clitoris, there’s nothing to stop us becoming aroused and climaxing again (other than lack of motivation).
Men need time to recuperate (the refractory period).
It is possible for men to have multiples: orgasm and ejaculation are two separate, different processes.
Men feel an orgasm in the brain (the intensely pleasurable part) while ejaculation is the physical part of the orgasm (the body pumping out semen).
He can ejaculate without having an orgasm or have an orgasm without ejaculating.
But the training for the second, more preferable, scenario is intense and it’s a rare person who has the time and patience to devote to the tantric sex practice that helps men achieve this.
MEN ORGASM FROM PENETRATIVE SEX, MOST WOMEN DON’T.
Most men will orgasm within four minutes of penetration.
Most women take between 10 to twenty minutes to reach orgasm (usually through direct stimulation of the clitoris rather than intercourse).
Around 75 per cent of men always have an orgasm during sex with their partner but only 26 per cent of women do.
Add oral sex into the mix and the scales even up dramatically.
Eighty-one per cent of women report having an orgasm in their most recent sex encounter if it included oral sex.
It isn’t just women who fake orgasms, Tracey says that men are just as guilty though is likely to fake a climax for different reasons
Women who have sex with women have significantly more orgasms than women who have sex with men, probably because it includes more oral sex.
If we’re talking masturbation, again, the statistics improve.
Most women can masturbate to orgasm within four minutes: the same time it takes him to orgasm during intercourse.
BOTH SEXES FAKE ORGASMS
Men fake orgasm even if it is less often than women do. Why? His reasons aren’t that different than ours.
If he’s tired, had a few too many, worried about work or just not interested in sex right now, he’ll pretend he’s had an orgasm to explain why he’s lost his erection to avoid hurting her feelings.
How does he explain the lack of ‘evidence’?
If you’ve been having foreplay, there’s usually lots of moisture anyway and if you use a condom, it’s easy to whip it off, tie it and chuck it before anyone’s clocked it’s empty.
Men say women take it very personally when a man doesn’t orgasm, much more than he does if she doesn’t.
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